Enough with the %#%!@*(!&@*@$ spam!

Today's Cereal: Cheerios for breakfast, Life for lunch
Current Mood: A little lonely


Dear Sauerkraut H. Odom,

It is really kind of you to drop me an e-mail every so often (to see how I am doing, I'm sure). I really appreciate it, even though I think two or three times a day may be overdoing it. You are one awesome dude. I have no doubt that you are great in bed, so really--you can stop telling me. Honest, I KNOW by now. You've told me, what, a million times? Maybe you are just trying to be funny, but that's enough. Really. And while we are on the subject, could you please stop trying to sell me your penis-enhancing products? You're a good friend and all, but I just don't need any Vicagra. Or any Cinalis or Leviptra. Promise. In fact--and I know this might be hard for you to hear-- I don't even have a penis. No, it's true-- I looked.

I hope I'm not breaking your heart by telling you that. Because it seems like-- judging from the amount of e-mail you send me-- that you expect me to single-handedly finance your whole "penis business". I thought it would be better to just be honest with you, and let you know up front rather than lead you on. So maybe you should just stop the e-mails altogether. Oh, sure, I'd welcome the occasional "Hi, how's your kids/health/life" e-mail, but I just can't deal with anymore "business" e-mails. I'm sure you understand. I'm glad we had this little talk.

You rock! Keep up the good work in bed, and good luck finding someone else to hock your wares to.
Your friend forever,

Beck

Question for you

Today's Cereal: Kix
Current Mood: Uptight. My teeth hurt from clenching my jaw due to stress!

So, if a movie were to be made of your life, who would you cast as yourself? I'd cast Winona Ryder. She's small and dark, cute but not gorgeous, and a little strange.

I'd also cast Josh Lucas as Kitt. Love those blue eyes! (Before I knew Josh Lucas' name, I called him "The Fake Matthew McConaughey", because I always got them mixed up. Aren't I cute?)

Well, crap!

You Failed 8th Grade Math

Oh no, you only got 6/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

It's been a while, okay? I always HATED math. I still have nightmares about high school math class. I dream frequently that I haven't done any of my homework for months and months, and the end of the term is coming up... I'll NEVER be able to catch up with all that work! Or I dream that I am sitting down to take a final, but I haven't BEEN in the class since school started because I was sluffing with my friend, Kerri. THE ANXIETY! I hate those dreams. As much as I hate math.

Uh-oh... time to make myself a "Swear Jar"

Today's Cereal: Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp
Current Mood: Amused

So, I was playing with The Boy just now, and the phone rang. I put him down (which started a tantrum), and I ran down the hall to get to the phone before the answering machine picked up. Running behind me, mad as hell, was The Boy-- who was yelling, "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

To that I have to say, Dammit. The Boy has picked up a new word! Not only did he get it from me, he used it in context. Now that's comedy.

No, I CAN'T jump.

Today's Cereal: Vanilla Yogurt Burst Cheerios
Current Mood: Introspective

I am nursing my baby as we speak. (or whatever). This means that I am typing one-handed, and it is very slow-going.

I love breastfeeding. In my pre-baby days (you know, the days where we went to Disneyland every year, stayed up late, did what we wanted, ate out a lot, dropped everything to see a movie, and had really nothing to live for?) I used to think that I'd be really creeped out about breastfeeding. But now I am a big proponent. Ladies, if you have a baby and you are able to do it, I recommend it. There is nothing quite like the closeness, nothing like the feeling of being so needed. Baby Robin sure is sweet. She is currently stroking her hand back and forth across my chest, a lot like a kitten doing happy-paws. Sometimes when I hold her up on my shoulder, she wraps her arm around my neck and holds on tight, like a baby chimpanzee. So sweet!


I worked in the office yesterday. I do reunions from home; when I am in the office I scan the old adoption files into a digital format that will be searchable, as well as safer in a fire. It is a slow process, because I have to read all the casenotes from every file as I do it. The stories are so interesting! They are so heartbreaking! And I am completely hooked into them. There was one file I read yesterday that has really had me thinking:

1950. Young girl from a small farming community came to the big city to place her child for adoption. She thought she'd have a better chance of finding a good home for her baby in the big city, because no one in her town would take the baby. The reason why? The baby was part Black. Sadly there are still people out there today that will not take a child of a race other than their own, but I would hope that nobody today would take it to these extremes: The child was 1/32 black.

Are you kidding me?

No. I'm not. Get this: In doing our family history, my mom and I have discovered that my mom's dad's dad's mom's dad's mom's mom (or maybe dad) is black. Did you get that? In other words, one of my great-great-great-great-great grandparents is black. If I'm figuring right, that makes my grandpa, my mom's dad, 1/32 black. Back in 1950 no self-respecting white family would want him! Isn't that sad?

I believe that makes me 1/128 Black. Would I be similarly unwanted? How much was "too much" Black? In case you were wondering, I got nothing but the dark brown eyes. The baby in the adoption file I was reading didn't even get that much... he was blond-haired, blue-eyed.

Do you want to hear the end of the story? After a year the agency still could't find a family for him. But it worked out okay... the birthmother called back, said she was getting married, and that her husband wanted to adopt her baby. Since he hadn't been adopted already, the agency happily gave him back.

Interesting, interesting stories.

New Link

Today's Cereal: Golden Grahams
Current Mood: Sneaky (I'm posting at work! Shh!)

Quickie for you today--
Just want to introduce a new "Blog Friend", LostNowFound. AKA, Kelly.

Kelly went to school with me, and I will proudly admit that I had a small crush on him in high school. I think that stems back to when we were in Elementary together. For the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders, our elementary school had "dances" (pre-teens and pre-pre-teens swaying back and forth WITHOUT TOUCHING- because you still were afraid of cooties even then). The very first dance I went to as a 4th grader I was SO SCARED! And being a shy little mouse, I stood against the wall wanting to disappear because no one was asking me to dance! Kelly became my knight in shining armor that day because he so gallantly rescued me from being a wallflower. Not only did I get to dance, I danced with a 6th grader! So thanks, Kelly, for giving me such a nice memory and possibly saving my self-esteem from permanent damage.

Remember when we went bowling that one time? That was awesome.

Boo!

Today's Cereal: Honeycomb (its so big, yeah, yeah, yeah!)
Current Mood: Overwhelmed

So, sorry I've been neglecting my blog. Life goes on, and you don't need to know about it. Except that my mother was in the hospital with blood clots in her lungs and in both legs. Yeah, scary. But I knew in my heart and in my mind that she would be okay. She's home now, and slowly recuperating.

I went out yesterday and bought a Batman costume for The Boy. It will be the first Halloween that he will have a clue about what's going on, and Kitt and I are excited to take him trick-or-treating. Guess what we are dressing baby Robin as? Batman's sidekick, of course. Don't be stupid.

I love Halloween. I love the costumes, the scariness, and especially the candy (Kitt and I start buying candy a month in advance, because we know we are going to eat half of it before Halloween is even close.) I love ghost stories. I love the Halloween shows that my radio station does every year where listeners call in with their real-life ghost experiences. They also have the Utah Ghost Investigators Society on every year, and they play recordings they have made of ghosts. That one was on this morning. So SPOOKY! And I am home alone. More or less.

Speaking of scariness, I wanted to share My List of Irrational Fears. For therapeutic reasons, I guess. Here you go, in no particular order:

1. Spiders. Any and all. Even the one I am letting live in my kitchen window. I know this is really OCD of me, but everytime I take a shower I have to hold up my towel and inspect it front and back to make sure there are no spiders on it before I dry myself off. If I forget to do that, I panic mid-dry and have to turn on the water again to wash off any spiders that might have been on my towel and got on me. I know, I know-- that makes me sound effing crazy. Live with it.
2. Choking. I have this serious fear that I am going to choke on something. And more specifically, I am afraid I am going to choke on something while I am driving. Will I have the presence of mind to pull over? Or will I panic and crash my car and die in an accident before I can choke to death? And what if I am alone? Or worse, what if the kids are with me? What will it do to them to watch me choke to death? Naturally, however, this Irrational Fear does not stop me from stuffing my pie-hole with candy at ANY TIME, even when I am driving. Yes, I am still carrying around 20 extra pounds from being pregnant, thanks for asking.
3. The Dark. Yes folks, I am afraid of the dark. No, I don't sleep with a nightlight-- I sleep with my husband. He's just as good. I FREAK OUT if the power goes out and I am in the windowless bathroom. When I'm home alone at night, every light in the house is on. I think fears #1 and #5 feed into this fear.
4. Sharks. Why the eff am I afraid of sharks when I live in landlocked Utah? The nearest ocean is like, 1,000 miles away. And yet I am. I don't like going in the water at California beaches anymore because the water is too dark/dirty to see what is down there. My leg could be bitten off and I wouldn't have seen it coming (Although seeing it coming probably won't make it any better....) The ocean in the Carribean is much better because it is crystal clear, and you don't have to wet yourself every time some kelp grabs your leg like you would in the Pacific Ocean, because you can see that it is just kelp and not Jaws. But still, I had a panic attack the first time I went snorkeling (in St. Thomas, even!) because I realized how very afraid of sharks I am. This does not stop me from watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel any time I can, though... it's like watching a car wreck, you know?
5. Eating a bug. Do NOT ask me to "open my mouth and shut my eyes", I don't care how big of a surprise you have. Will. Not. Do. It. EVER. I MUST see what is going into my mouth. This is part of the reason I don't like ground meat. I don't know WHAT might be ground in with it. I agree with Jerry Seinfeld when he said that the worst part about being blind is not knowing whether there is a bug in your food. I won't eat with my eyes closed, I won't eat in the dark. I even prefer my fruit cut up rather than whole, because you never know when you are going to bite into a peach and find a worm in the middle (a la "Labryinth), or worse, HALF A WORM. I must SEE what I am eating, and I have to look at each bite of my food before I eat it. This is going to pay off for me, because one day I will see a bug in my food, and my persistence will save me from eating it. All you schmoes who shovel food in your mouth without a second look can choke on your insects. I will be laughing at you. And then I will panic because you are choking.