Decisions, decisions.

Today's Cereal: Cocoa Puffs
Current Mood: Pensive

I am faced today with one of those major, life-altering decisions. I HATE making decisions. And the bigger they are, the worse they are. I've never been one of those people who can see where they are going in life and what route they should take to get there. That's part of the reason I never got a degree-- I could never decide what to get and then what to do with it.

I'm so afraid of making the WRONG decision that it cripples me. I just want to be taken care of. Is that so much to ask?


I also have to make a reunion call today. For those who don't know me, I work part-time at an adoption agency. I run the search & reunion program, for adopted persons and birthmothers who are looking to reunite with the family they lost through adoption. It is so much fun, but SO scary. While finding who I am looking for can be hard, the hardest part is making the first call. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THEY WILL REACT!! Especially when you call a birthmother. They might not have told their husband and children about the adoption. They might be ecstatic. They might swear at you and tell you never to contact them again. But usually, they cry.

It is a job full of joy because I get to help people discover a piece of themselves; but for me it is also a very difficult job because I get SO attached to my clients. If they are rejected for a reunion, I feel it deeply too. I have shed so many tears over the cases I work on! Fortunately I have only been told no twice. Both times I wanted to give it up. But I am glad I didn't! I get a huge thrill out of the search, and an even bigger thrill when the reunion turns out well. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing I helped someone who wanted it so badly.

I am not sure how today's case will turn out. I usually have a gut feeling about it; but with this one it is not a good or bad feeling... just... a feeling that it will all work out like it is supposed to. Whatever that means. Wish me luck!