If I ever get my hands on you...

Okay, so last night the hubby was trying to download a no-cd crack for a game we wanted to play LAN together. Somehow we accidentally downloaded something called Search Bar, which put a happy little toolbar on my Internet Explorer, with happy little automatic links to wholesome activities such as Online Gambling and Adult Entertainment. AND NOW WE CAN'T GET RID OF IT AND IT HAS TOTALLY F%^@ED UP MY COMPUTER!!!!

This #&*$(@-#%!^@&* parasite of a program also is allowing a @#^&-load of pop-ups, and every few minutes opens a frame in the page you are looking at of "Related Searches", giving links to things it thinks you want to search for (but are really things it WANTS YOU to search for-- more on-line gambling, more penis enlargement products, free stock advice, dog racing-- none of which I am remotely interested in. Surprising, I know.)

And now this morning I have discovered that it has somehow CHANGED the homepage I have set in Explorer. I used to be able to log in and it would immediately take me to my office e-mail so I could see if I have any projects coming in, any phone calls I need to make, any inquiries about the program I run. BUT I CAN'T @&%#(*^ GET TO MY *#$ %!(& E-MAIL!!!!! I TRIED to go into the properties of Explorer and change the homepage BACK to my e-mail, but it apparently didn't work. It STARTS to take me there. My poor computer TRIES to get me there. But halfway through the pageload, it suddenly switches directions and takes me to some lame-ass search page (More gambling and porn!), and even if I try to physically type in the address to get to my work e-mail, it STILL changes mid-way and takes me to this search page! I am so mad I could karate-kick the monitor off the desk and through the wall behind it!!!

If I ever get my hands on the $^& @&!* Son of a $&#^@^ #*!^)@& #*^@% that created such a program, I swear I will tear his intestines out with my bare hands and feed them back to him. I didn't sleep all $@#^&*! night-- I don't have the patience to deal with this #@*&$^*%@*#@)$((%^*&^$@*&#^%()%&)@%(^@#&%$&&@!(!)!@$&*$%!*@%&#!!!!!!!!!