Feel the rage

I have put off posting because I wanted people to vote in my last post. I was so proud that I figured out how to stick that poll in there! (Even though it left a monster gap in the post that I couldn't figure out how to fix...) I guess that in order to get some votes would require that people actually visit my site! Thanks to the four of you who did vote, and thanks for your comments (Although it doesn't help the decision any, because now the vote is tied). It probably doesn't matter anyways; after my appointment this afternoon, it may be a moot point. My loyal fans here will be the 2nd to know the outcome! (I got my sister-in-law to take The Boy while we are at the Dr.; she will demand to know first when we go to pick him up. Sorry.)

My kid is sick today. He's been meeping and whining at my feet all morning, so I've done nothing but carry him around. Even Teletubbies didn't distract him for long. I've been alternating between feeling so sad and sorry for him, and wanting to sell him to the gypsies. And of course that makes me feel all guilty, which in turn makes me weepy. Stupid pregnant hormones! I HATE YOUR FREAKIN' GUTS!

I have a lot of rage, too. Can you tell? That reminds me of the first time I was pregnant:

I was working full time still, and at 3 or 4 months pregnant I was more hormonal than the entire jr. high down the street. So maybe I snapped at a few people. Most people understood. Oh, but not my supervisor. She called me into her office, and told me I was being unprofessional. She said that they don't pay me as much as they do (as if!!) for me to be acting like this. She said people were walking on eggshells around me. Of course, I immediately started crying. I apologized, and said that I was just so out of control, and could feel myself saying things and getting so angry, but I just couldn't stop it from coming out. I reminded her that I was pregnant and sick, and having a hard time with the changes going on with me.
Her response? "I had cancer and was dying, and I managed to still be nice to people." For a therapist, she sure doesn't know how to talk to people. If she was really good at her job, she would have realized that I needed sympathy and kindness and understanding, not her bitching at me. She lost not only my trust then, but I have also hated her ever since. Oh, and the real kicker? Not 2 weeks after this incident, she hired someone new. My desk was right outside her office, and she sat and told the new person--with her door wide open and me listening!-- that "this is not an office that tolerates a lot of childishness. We won't let it just slide here. Just recently I had to talk to another employee about her mood swings; but we worked it all out because we communicated about it."
IN HER MOFO DREAMS!! That communication was all ONE WAY, bee-yotch. And NO, it wasn't worked out! If it had actually been "worked out", as you say, then I would still respect you and possibly like you. You really screwed the pooch on that one. I was SO EFFING MAD! Why didn't she just pull me into her office with the new person and tell her, "Becky here was really being an ass, but I fixed that!"
And then she was surprised and sad when I told her I didn't want to work for her anymore after the baby was born. Hmmmm... know what? GO TO HELL! Perhaps if you'd shown the slightest bit of understanding, instead of telling me what a GODDESS you were for surviving cancer whilst being a mofo SAINT, I would still be cleaning up your messes and making you look good. I'm glad you got a 3rd rate secretary to replace me! I hope she's at least nice to you, because that's all that apparently matters!!

Okay, rant over. Know what? So is this post.

Later.