Real Women

Today's Cereal: Rice Chex

I woke up this morning with a big ol' zit on my chin. Because I'm terribly vain, it really upset me. I don't know why it was so traumatic, especially since Lil' Becky (my zit's name-- yes, it's big enough to name) matches the one I got right between my eyes yesterday, and the one on my forehead the day before, and-- well, the last week or so I've broken out like I work at McDonalds. What is up with that? I'm almost 30 for pete's sake.

So Lil' Becky really had me bummed out this morning, and I think it's because I've been pretty down on myself lately. I've been feeling crappy about all the loose skin and flabby muscles sagging around my "babymaker", and I really, really need a haircut because I look like Ashton Kutcher in That 70's Show. I'm serious. Here is a picture of me today:
(Did you notice how I painted out his adam's apple? I'm so cool.)

Anyways,I've been feeling frustrated because I don't look like, oh, say Angelina Jolie, who is hott hott hott! Why can't I be hott (with two t's)? But then I stumbled across a website this morning, and I want to shout it's address from the rooftops for all the women to hear. Check it out. (Alert! Alert! Skimpy swimsuits and provacative poses! Consider yourself warned.)

Photo retouching. Go fig. I knew it existed, but I assumed a retouched photo would look like those cheesy BatBoy pictures on the front of the Enquirer. (Or like my "Picture of Me", above.) Not so! You can't tell who's photo has been retouched! So now I know that when I see Hott!Beyonce on the cover of Cosmo, she doesn't REALLY look like that in real life. Chances are, she's a real woman.

Real women have back fat. Real women have saggy boobs and butts. Real women are thicker around the middle than magazine covers would have you believe! Real women have bags under their eyes and moles and cellulite and short eyelashes and thin, lifeless hair... Real women can accept the stretch marks as an inevitable part of being Mommy, or of just being curvy. Real women work hard to be recognized for something other than how hott they are.

I guess I can live with Lil' Becky. Consider it a mark of a real woman.